I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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