I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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