My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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