So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
