I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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