the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
