I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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