Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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