I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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