well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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