i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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