some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
