It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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