I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
