The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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