OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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