I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
