i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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