She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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