dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
