when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
