So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
