I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
