I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize