what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
