so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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