i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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