if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize