Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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