You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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