I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
