After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
