Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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