I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
