is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
