it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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