I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize