Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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