Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
