At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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