I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
