Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Still dying that you shit outside
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
