I have demons in me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This is classic penis vs brain.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
