Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
