I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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