It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
