if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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