You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
