I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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