Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
