Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
