3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
