wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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