New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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