I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
