I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize