She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
